My journey to Christ hasn’t been the most conventional! 

In a sense, I broke the mould in giving my life to Jesus as I come from a (very) non-Christian background, but I have experienced many significant things in my life that have influenced me in my decision to become a Christian. One of these things, I believe, is that I attended Leesland Infant, a C of E school, in my early schooling years which encouraged prayer and religious teaching. I believe this set the foundations of a good relationship and understanding with God when I was to discover Him.However, in August 1996, I moved to Lee-on-the-Solent, meaning a change of school and therefore far fewer teachings about Christianity and, I realise now, meant that I was not having as much involvement and learning about God. 

Also, around this time, my Grandma suffered a brain haemorrhage. I really wondered why this had happened to such a nice person. I have come to realise with the help of God that it has happened for a reason, however this reason is not yet known to me, I have the faith in God that the situation I experienced as a 7 year old, and in which massive strain was put upon my family, has happened in a way that I can learn from it and input it to everyday life. I also now know that, one day, I will find out as to why it happened. 

However, the real turning point in my life on a personal and spiritual level and the point of my initial relationship with God was when, at the age of 10, I was diagnosed with leukaemia. The strain was obviously very difficult and challenging for everyone around me, but I managed to find salvation, although not a Christian or a firm believer, in God. While people around me with similar conditions were constantly trying to find someone to blame, I attempted, with all my heart, to blame no one. There was the ‘Why me?’ and ‘The doctors must have it wrong’ scenarios from me about the diagnosis, but this was short lived, I had to bear up and live with the fact, I had leukaemia. While people were blaming God, I thought, with the (very) little knowledge I had of Him, was that He could only possibly help me.However, this did prove to be difficult and was not easy for me to think like this all the time, as a cancer sufferer, I was experiencing troubling and demanding times in my life and still had the question in my mind ‘Why is it me who is suffering?’Despite this, I attempted to pray everyday, with the hope that God was listening and going to help me through the times that were mentally and physically challenging. I prayed for myself and the most important people around me, family and hospital staff, who had almost become like relatives in their approach to me and the amount of time I was spending in hospital.I believe that through these prayers I received the bits of help that I required from God to get through each day I had to battle through the torment that I had everyday for over 3 years.

The presence of God, and His activity within my life, was felt most by me one afternoon when, on one of my random walks around St Mary’s Hospital, I Was walking past the Chapel. For a reason still unknown to me, I uttered a prayer under my breath that two sufferers, one of them a friend, of cystic fibrosis could just experience one day of their lives as normal as possible, as they are normally hampered down with pills, hospital visits and physiotherapy. The next day I found out that both had been temporarily discharged and allowed home. I realised that even when times seem to be at their lowest, God can still do extraordinary works and produce miracles.  

I successfully completed my three year treatment, but towards the end, I started to drift from God. As it was, I didn’t feel as if I was a Christian and I wasn’t going to church, but I started to ignore Gods presence and stopped praying to Him as I had been previously. This was also due to the fact I had no Christian encouragement or environment access to be guided in the right direction. Also, on a personal level, I had felt I had lost three years of my life, and I wanted to start living as an individual, without any help from, well really, anyone. I had had enough of being told what I was and was not able to do, I had felt I had gained ‘freedom’ from my cancer, when in fact, I was not free at all. 

For about a year and a half I had no Christian influence or perspective on life, and discussions with other non-Christians led to me starting to doubt the existence of God at all, and I had been convinced to accept that all the things that had happened during my treatment was all coincidence. 

However, in April 2005, three Christian friends invited me to a church-run youth group that ran on a Friday evening. I was really up for going, primarily for having a good time with my friends. However, once I had been going for a few weeks, and discussions every week about God, Jesus and Christianity in general, a small spark in my heart was starting to burn for Jesus in a way that I had not experienced before. I started having questions about God which I had not thought about before, I was starting to see Him move in all walks of life, in everything that I did or that I was seeing and I was overwhelmed that I could have His love also. 

Due to this, in late September/ early October 2005, I asked my very good friend Sam if I could go to a proper church service with him. I was interested now, and I had some personal, unanswered questions that I thought God could answer. No one knew about these questions that I had, they were quite delicate, in a way, relating to the suffering I had encountered in my life. The main question,

‘Why?’ 

And the title of the course that was being undertaken at church?

‘What on earth am I here for?’ 

And the subject of the sermon that day?

Purpose. 

I realised from that day on that I was here for a reason and that everything that happens does so for a reason.I knew then that my suffering from my Grandmothers trauma to my cancer, it was for a reason. And additionally, the reason would be revealed to me, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next month, maybe not even in my lifetime, but I would find out. God would reveal to me soon enough, when He thinks suitable, and His timing is always perfect!

I also started going to Re:GenR8 (Brockhurst Baptist Church’s Youth Congregation, in which I now co-lead) and the ‘Youth Alpha’ course really helped me learn about God more. I gave my life to Jesus on 25^th February 2006 and took the decision to be baptised on Easter Sunday of that year. I chose to give my life to Jesus because I knew He was involved in everything and that He never lets go, whether times are good or bad.

Also, after finding God, my questions were answered when no one else could answer them and I realised that I wasn’t suffering because I was a bad person, as Jesus took all the shame of the world away through His crucifixion and resurrection. 

Now I want to serve God in all I do, and I thank Him for saving me and for the many talents He has blessed me with, for example in leadership and working with children. I am also planning to study a degree in Children’s Nursing as a result of a lot of prayer and obviously the experiences I have endured and been through. I feel God wants me to be in that field to share my life experiences with others and to help. I went on a weekend trip with some other cancer sufferers. It affected me a lot; it got me quite down and made me feel very upset. Yet a large part of me wanted to go back and help, not stay away from it because of my negative emotions, but get stuck in and help other people who have or have had cancer. Over a few weeks, this grew and I knew God was directing me towards that. I also knew this because for a long time, for about 4 years, I was determined to be a Physiotherapist, but this desire went. Additionally, a couple of months later when I attended the Youth Alpha conference, it was said in a sermon that God will start things first by breaking your heart. This happened to me on that July evening when I knew I had to put my faith in God for the first time properly since my decision to baptised. God had helped me let go of a humanly desire to help fulfil His and a spiritual one.
However, as anyone who has applied for Uni’ will know, you have to go through the process of deciding where you want to go- after all you will live there for at least 3 years. I had my heart set on Cardiff. I really liked the city when I visited and I was drawn to it as a place. Despite this, God had other ideas! When I was receiving interviews and offers from all my other options, I didn’t even receive an interview for Cardiff. I accepted this (reluctantly at first) but I knew that God was in control. He has a plan that He wants fulfilling.
On top of this, I am planning a gap year involving prayer-orientated and Spirit led mission in my home town before going off to Uni’. This is really exciting and I know God wants me to be doing that and He has big plans, not necessarily for me, but for my town. 

Through all this, I want to attempt to share the brilliant feeling I have when I encounter God and to let people know what it is like to be a servant of Christ and to lead them to Him, no matter who they are or what they have done, as Jesus loves us all the same! Something that I cling close to my heart are that words, “Nothing I do can make the Lord Jesus Christ, Saviour, love me less.”